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I figure Jimmy might need something to bite on in a little while. The second is a ludicrously oversized dildo. It was a secret santa gift in my last year in college. It’s bright purple silicon with glitter all through it. One end is sensibly proportioned for a vagina-having partner to grip comfortably (and yes, you really need good kegels for this to work). The other is absurd, about 12 inches long, with a bulbous head perhaps 2 inches in diameter, narrowing on the curved shaft to an inch and a half. I never much liked it myself, but I’ve had the odd hookup with a girl who really liked that “full-up” feeling, or really liked being jabbed hard in the cervix. It’s also kind of useful if you want to try one of those weird positions that otherwise need 20 years of tantric yoga to get tab A close enough to slot B. In this case it’s gonna be great for scaring the crap out of Jimmy.I leave the dildo at the foot of the bed, out of Jimmy’s eye-line, heading to the bathroom and returning with. As clueless as they get, they're still usually pretty careful about swearing in front of parents at this stage. Nonetheless, I figured he was then watching. A few seconds later I could tell he was slapping my son's arm."What? Dude, what?" Look!" Andy said in a whisper, which of course I heard perfectly because he was sitting right behind me.Extended silence. They were both watching it.I caught a few glances of their amazed expressions in the rear view mirror. Eyes were wide."Oh, Man!" Robert exclaimed as softly as he could."I know!" Andy replied."Who? Who was it?" I have NO idea!"I couldn't help but stir them up a little."What are you guys talking about," I said over my shoulder."Oh, nothing, Mom. It's no big deal." Yeah, just some dumb video." Oh, OK," I replied. "I thought something exciting was going on, with the way you guys were acting." No, Mom. Don't worry about it."I'm very used to getting responses like that from my son. Typical teen talk. But this time I knew there was in.
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